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You’re F.cked!

Who gives a sh.t about anyone hooking up with a Thai chick for six months of banging and getting to know each other? Good times then it all falls apart … In the end it was all worth it. Go back to where ever you came from with stories that you will be telling people for years to come. No harm done you gave it a go. Why do so many guys come here and themselves so far up the arse financially? When you meet someone new don’t go into it blindly thinking you have to pay for her Kids! HA HA … Their biological father can do that. He will still be around. He’s the guy you think is her cousin … FFS!

At the start of every relationship rules and boundaries are laid out. So when the topic comes up early on in the relationship, stay focused as you might be a bit c.nt struck. Not enough to pick up the tab for someone else's kids. Now’s the time to say ‘NO!’ Just move on to your next relationship. At least you’re still financially stable.

Here in Thailand I have witnessed more than a few guys being shafted to the max or are currently in the process. Who am I to tell them otherwise. They are getting f.cked so far up the arse that they are blind or too stupid to see it coming. They deserve to be f.cked … Thai Style!

Rio Club Soi Cowboy

The Rio Club Soi Cowboy where I stay in the room opposite I had the pleasure to watch a real pro in action. Lets set the scene a woman moves in who’s in her late 20’s and has a son who who’d be 9. Things aren’t right on first glance as it is a corner unit and rent is 30,000 Baht up a month. Everything falls into place when a Canadian guy mid 50’s arrives and the kid calls him Pa-Pa. Yeah I bet he f.cking loves that. My skin would crawl as I look for the quickest exit. I might sound a bit harsh right now but I know the end result. We will call him Sponsor.

If you want kids then start your own family. There are plenty of single women who if you dont have a short pig like body with beady little eyes will quite happily start a normal relationship with most guys. Just let the relationship follow a normal path to starting a family.  The Sponsors must want it since they will go down the path of paying for her family and her children. F.cking mental … Just say ‘No’. No one is that good a Her Thai husband wouldn’t have left her if she was that good.

Back to the sponsor who for three weeks hardly went out. He looked well groomed with a 70% pig like body. I talked to him briefly as I entered the lift heading to the pool. What a dumb prick. He kept his head down and only mumbled an answer … these f.ckers know they are a loser! He stood there holding hands with a kid that looks like he just came out of the trees. I’d looked through the keyhole if the kid hadn’t closed their door …Pa Pa this Pa Pa that. The kid is really laying it on. When the Sponsor departed for the airport she wore a skin tight dress with stilettos that would look great within Nana Soi 4. Left him drooling over that as they say their goodbyes. Keep the money rolling in … Someone's got to pay the bills and it isn’t going to be her.

Roll on two months and I noticed her standing out front in Sukhumvit Road hailing a Taxi. She has the same get up on when she said goodbye to the Sponsor. Later that evening I hear the sound of stilettos and a suitcase being pulled along the tiles. I’m straight to the keyhole … me the kid opens the door and is calling out Pa Pa before giving him a big hug. Sound normal? HA HA HA yeah it … normal, normal, normal, normal, normal, normal, normal for a Sponsors Life … It is a different guy!

The Dollhouse BangkokThis Sponsor had a German accent with the same 70% pig like body but taller and in his late 40’s. As you can see the child is playing his part which is pretty f.cked up by the mother. What is that teaching him? These Sponsors will both think they have a family and more disturbingly a son. It’s all just one big con. He stayed about three weeks then she put on her stilettos and sexy dress to send him off to the airport. In a relationship like this the Sponsors wont be using condoms … Risky with this chick. The good news is around three months later when I was arriving home with a friend her door was open and she was yelling at her son in Thai … I’m asking ‘what is she saying?’ … ‘Pa-Pa did this!’ HA HA. There she was sitting on the sofa looking shattered as a group of Thai males were putting all her belongings into boxes … She appears to have been caught out … Deserved!

Lets go to the next Sponsor. Why not be a hard working teacher here in Thailand and move your new love into a condo on the same floor as me. Think about it this is only my floor and this condo building has over 30 floors. This is a bit of a hobby watching this shit. He set her up opening a hairdresser shop nearby. Now he has rent for the shop and the condo. Before you know it she has a teenage son that comes and stay every now and then. As luck would have it I just happened to be near when she was seeing him off near the BTS when she handed him wads of cash.

You might think that is normal but I had walked past their door recently which was ajar. Inside was the guy who they pay the rent to and he was asking ‘when can you pay?’ That’s all I heard. Their relationship seemed normal when her teenage son wasn’t around. She would be early 40’s and him early 50’s. Finally the rent situation came to a head and she went mental. Door open and you could hear the slaps as she is yelling at him to go. He whimpered like a child. I had gone out for a few hours and they were still at it. He was talking quiet then whack! He cried big time … should I laugh? She’s had enough. As I was leaving for a night of banging I spotted him heading for the lift with a few of his belongings. I looked in the open door and there was a Thai guy standing inside. I have seen that face before except this guys is around 40 … It is her sons father. I bet she’s been banging him all along. The upside here is she got kicked out as the lease is in his name. He just came back and got the rest of his stuff never to be seen again.

The next couple of sponsor stories are moving along just nicely but they haven’t played out yet. One winner is in the middle of selling up all his assets overseas so that if he croaks it his new woman and her daughter get it. The other sponsors wife works as a freelancer when he’s not in Thailand. HA HA it I just gotta laugh. I will let them both come to an end before writing … Another two full blown Sponsors!

The biggest news out of Nana Plaza is that the Playskool  brand is back. Purchased by the same owners of Bangkok Bunnies. Easy Lick and their ladyboys are gone! Making way for an all female gogo bar … Playskool.

There are a few bars that I have written negatively about in previous columns. I do think on occasions that I need go in and see if there has been any improvement. Sadly if a bars broken for some reason then usually no one will make any effort in fixing it. Take the Dundee Bar in Soi Cowboy who have one of the most obnoxious bargirls in Bangkok. My focus when it comes to bars is are they tourist friendly and this one bargirl drags the whole bar down to a level that is unacceptable.

Last year I wrote that I had planned to go into the Dundee Bar as the women out front looked okay of late. Only to be stopped by the above mentioned bargirl where I thought ‘ it I wont be going in there’. On Sunday night I had been at the Cactus Bar and did notice that the Dundee Bar again had a good group of bargirls out front. Normally I avoid bars that give me the sh.ts in anyway, not even stand there to take a picture. they can make my skin crawl.

Lighthouse Bangkok

The Lighthouse Soi Cowboy

Against my better judgement I stopped out front the Dundee Bar. I had my camera out and one of the Lighthouse Dancers pointed their placard in my direction. Onething you dont want to do is leave them hanging so up goes the camera to take a pic and this f.cker grads my arm and says ‘come in here for a drink’ HA HA ‘ off!’ I could only take a quick one handed shot (above) but by then the mood had gone. You can see by the first picture of the Rio Club dancers that you can capture the moment.

I was polite for about 30 sec's just trying to flog her off but this f.cker has locked onto my arm. She acts like an overbearing teacher that has some form of authority. She appears to actually believe that when she say you have to come in for a drink. This f.cker believes it as fact. I don’t know how a first time tourist would handle this sh.t? Except maybe to go in for a drink. Tourist do get grabbed but you know it’s all in a bit of fun and as you keep on walking then the they let go. (You can see this in one of the Soi Cowboy Videos). I just turned and walked her quickly into the other bargirls at the Dundee Bar. Now she had to let go.

Considering that I normally give the Dundee Bar a wide berth when I pass makes it hard to believe she is still there and as obnoxious as ever. To be irked twice at the same bar in over a year is no good. If you lined up 100 gogo dancers/bargirls and took your pick from 1 to 100 then she would be number 98. So in two words … Off!