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The Hustle!

My trip to the Easy Lick Gogo Bar took place around three weeks ago for the ‘Mixed Bar Series’. Since it was a fairly uneventful night It all might only last a couple of paragraphs. Luckily there are a few interesting observations. I have waited until I had another short piece this time in the ‘Bargirl Series’. Where to start with? The good or the bad! F.ck it … I will leave Easy Lick until last. If you don’t like Australian slang then don’t read on!

Bargirls Part 3. This week I headed to Patpong to hang out with the bargirls at ‘The Club’ (Kings). Here I can sit on sofas, play pool or be a man and have some fun with the bargirls. I chose to play pool like a winner since truth to be told … I had been banging most of the afternoon. The plan was to just go in have a few games of pool and hopefully get a few bargirl stories from my buddy for the night.

Here at Patpong I find the women different than at the other Red Light Districts. They seem more down to earth and appear to show their true self. I’m talking about bargirls and regular gogo dancers … Not Coyote who generally should be given a wide berth. I noticed a pair of the best set of natural breasts that I have seen in a long time within The Club. F.. me I am trying my best not to be a loser and just pick the hottest chick within the bar.

The Club Patpong

Bargirl @ The Club Patpong.

I take a look at the other bargirls and three do interest me until guess who stands up? The woman with those breasts … Sh.t her body is so fine!!! I actually would have looked like a dear stuck in headlights. I just stared for a few seconds too long. A flat stomach and a good set of breasts do compliment each other. With all the nicety's out of the way it was pool time. We had a bit of a chat whilst waiting for our drinks to arrive. Real intelligent stuff like … ‘you’ve got the hottest body I have seen in a long time’ she just smiles. Are your breasts real? ‘Yes that's my sister over there we got lucky’. I looked over at here sister and her breasts were bigger but hung slightly. You could see them jiggle when she walked. I’m really impressing her with my ‘Wows’ … FFS. Thank f.ck the drinks arrived.

I broke then it was her turn. F..me she bent over to take a shot and for me this looked so sexy and I’m tapped out. I don’t know how someone who hadn’t dropped a load in a while could handle this. She spoke good English without the usual Thai accent which she says is self taught. Notice I’m believing everything her breasts are telling me … I mean she tells me. I tried hard to get her talking but she was more tight lipped than other women that I come across that work in a bar. This did impress me as it showed she has a bit of class! You felt that you had to get to know her before you even thought about barfining her for the night.

Okay to the action!!! The pool action … I won the first match and then she was keen for a rematch. She now says ‘lets bet and the looser has to pay the winner 100 Baht’. HA HA … The Hustle!!!

I need break since I won the last game … Who cares since I got nothing for it! She then went onto pot every ball but the black! I really had to concentrate and keep the white ball in a bad spot. I arsed three shots and clawed my way back so we both just had the black to pot. I don’t know if she let me catch up? She had a really hard shot to win and pointed to which pocket the ball was destined to fall. She rebounded it of the side and the eight ball stopped about a quarter of an inch from the hole. Like a winner I proceeded to pot the black but followed through with the white. HA HA she thinks I did it deliberately … What a great guy!! HA HA … I didn’t!

I couldn’t get any stories out of her but I did have a good night out watching her play pool. I did ask her if she was the Budweiser Girl as I hadn’t read her dress before I had ordered the drinks … How could I? Luckily the answer was ‘No’. This is one cool chick with a hot body. In two words … Sh.t Hot!!

Now to Easy Lick or should we call it Lucky Dip? This will be brief!

If you can’t spot a ladyboy then you will be in for a surprise. When I entered there were two guys inside. One was with a gogo dancer and the other was seated opposite watching the dancers. There are eight on stage with one obvious ladyboy locked onto the guy opposite. They just don’t know when to leave it alone. When my drink arrived I said to the waitress ‘oh you have ladyboys here’. She smiled and went ‘Shhh’. Okay I don’t give a sh.t since I can spot a ladyboy and this ladyboy was easy enough even for the inexperienced.

I have a gogo dancer locked right onto me and the waitress is asking do I want her to come down for a drink? I decline therefore she ups her game and proceeds to pull her bikini up hard at the front … not for a camel toe show, but to expose her piss flaps! F.. Me I looked away since she should have shaved if she was planning on pulling that stunt tonight. The waitress is pissing herself laughing and has also turned away. Well f..ck me! … She starts motioning for a drink in classic ladyboy style. Those aren’t piss flaps I’m looking at! It’s a male ball bag surgically made to look like a pair of lips!

I couldn’t bring myself to say ‘piss flaps’ one more time. F.ck it here we go!! F..me look at the snatch on that chick! Oh what a great set of piss flaps she has! Sh.t look at the box on her. Normal talk from someone brought up in a Melbourne Suburb. If you went to a private school then … It’s ‘hasn’t she got a pretty face’ … Really who looks at the face when you’re at a gogo bar?

This ladyboy looked like all woman on the dance floor. It wasn’t until they started motioning in true ladyboy fashion that the jig was up. I’m sure if I had asked her down for a drink I would have still been able to spot that she wasn’t a true woman. Saying that it doesn’t help an inexperienced tourists who has had a few drinks and could quite easily end up barfining a ladyboy!

This makes Easy Lick a non tourist friendly gogo bar and should be avoided by inexperienced tourists until they change their format. Staff at Easy Lick should freely admit they have ladyboys present and who the ladyboys are. Candy Land 2 had this practice and they are no more!

I hit Patpong this week and had blast inside Kings Castle 2. The gogo dancers were in fine form and more often than not they have a real party atmosphere. The Strip is having a much needed makeover with the outside being modernized. Hopefully they get rid of the booths and refurbish the dance floor. What else? Paint the sidewalk and how about a name change … that might help!

The Strip Patpong

The Strip Patpong Renovations

It’s a fine line of why some bars work and some find it hard to get a crowd! Take Glamour within Patpong Soi 2 which hasn’t taken off like I thought they might. It all appears too sanitized and needs a bit of … grunt!!! Just go into, Kings Castle 2, Billboard, Twister Bar, Cowboy 2, Crazy House, Bangkok Bunnies, The Dollhouse, the list goes on … and feel it!!! Some gogo bars are too nice for their own good.

The Strip has a opportunity to put themselves back on the map for all the right reasons. F..me just emulate Kings Castle 2 and you can’t go wrong. If anyone is confused of how gogo dancers should dance then just head on into Cowboy 2 Gogo Bar.

Now to something strange. I was following three guys (tourists) a few weeks ago as I was about to enter Nana Plaza. One of them had his phone out and was preparing to take a quick holiday snap when the security guard at the entrance said ‘No Photo’ … HA HA … You’re joking right?!! You should have seen the confused looks on their faces. I couldn’t keep quiet and let them know if you go to Soi Cowboy you can take pictures freely or just video tape all the way along Soi CowboyNo problem!!! Take a guess what these guys did?

The loss in Social Media hits to potential new customers would be considerable if tourists haven’t pictures to post on Facebook or Twitter. It’s obvious to everyone that you don’t take pictures within the gogo bars. All the bars pay a lease and I’m sure the bar owners wont be happy learning that their potential customers are being given a negative feel when entering Nana Plaza.

No matter how busy a bar gets bar owners will still be losing money!!! These potential customers will be heading to Soi Cowboy or Patpong where they can snap away happily. The ground floor Nana Plaza has a big beer bar feel therefore tourist should be taking pictures whenever they feel the urge. It’s not until you go inside the gogo bars that you wouldn’t want tourists using their camera.

At Patpong Soi 2 you now don’t have a problem snapping away at the gogo dancers out front of their bars. Once you enter Patpong Soi 1 you will be told no photo by a few workers within the Patpong Night Market and most Ladyboys. When it comes to the gogo dancers then just ask. More often than not the dancers will let you take a picture outside if you have at least been inside their bar for a few drinks. The dancers at Kings Castle 2 are definitely up for it.

Soi Cowboy Bangkok

Tourists @ Soi Cowboy Pose for a Photo!

I took the picture above on Friday Night of a couple of tourists having their picture taken … No one cares as it is normal behavior … HA HA. This is just one of many reasons why Soi Cowboy is #1Tourist Friendly!!!

Now not to be a prick! I put this to the test one day this week.

I held onto my camera in plain view as I entered Nana Plaza … Well f.ck me sideways I heard it … ‘No Photo!’ ...  I only deal with the FACTS! And the FACTS are: Some Tourists are being told ‘No Photo as they enter Nana Plaza.

The Bar Owners at Soi Cowboy and Patpong will be rubbing their hands at this sh.t!!!

Hopefully it’s all just a bit of confusion with the instructions given to the Security at the entrance of Nana Plaza. No one could be so stupid to even think about implementing a policy that will alienate tourists from taking pictures.

In reality if a bar manager wants to let everyone take pictures even within their gogo bar well … that's their business!

I’m sure most people would agree that the checking of bags and being on the look out for any suspicious behavior has to be a Security Guards highest priority! Looking for tourists holding a camera/phone shouldn’t even be on their radar.