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Mixed Bars | Part 8

Back to the mixed bar series. London Calling Gogo Bar which is located on the ground floor of Nana Plaza is the destination tonight. Last time I was here they had just increased the prices in their drinks menu. The big attraction back then was to take a seat, look at the menu and then walk out. London Calling at that time was clearly the most expensive bar within Nana Plaza. They did have a very good group of female gogo dancers and you do have the added attraction for tourists of seeing the ladyboys on stage. Lets see how they are traveling in the second half of 2017.

London Calling Nana Plaza

London Calling Gogo Dancers

Normally if you talk to the dancers holding the signs then they will escort you to London Calling. Since they were in deep conversation I just kept on walking … bad move. If you have read Bargirls Part 4 then read on. If not then read it. You can see a few of the aging bargirls at the Nana Beer Garden that I talked about in the image above.

Once I escaped from the bargirl I took a seat and noticed that there wasn’t one gogo dancer free. Albeit there are only four inside as the rest are outside trying to get customers to come inside. F.ck that bargirl has screwed me big time since the dancers were cruising around whilst she was hassling me. They didn’t come over since to them I already had company. They charge 195 Baht for a Tiger Beer … Expensive!

I looked over at four guys seated all in a row. Three have dancers next to them and they’re all just watching the ladyboys on stage. F.ck me they have bought these women drinks and there is no action whatsoever. The guy closest to me is seated with his hands down by his side looking like a deer stuck in headlight. F.me what's going on here they're are all nearing 30 yrs … make a move!

What I have failed to tell you is he has a mid 20’s gogo dancer standing between his legs and he looks scared. She’s dancing slowly with her groin pointing at his face and he can’t move. At one stage he briefly lifted his hand and put it ever so gently on her hip for a few seconds then put it back down by his side … Yeah, Yeah ‘I had this hot woman and I fondled her Yeah Yeah I gave it to her’ that’ll be his story in the future. No action at all for these chicks but at least they got a drink each. The dancer who was dancing wanted action for sure but he wouldn’t pull the trigger.

It’s Showtime which means the ladyboys got off the stage. In the end the ladyboys didn’t look back in my direction since they could see I wasn’t interested in their team. Three women get on stage and go through a poorly choreographed piece. All looked fit but I thought two were not the best to look at. This all changed when they took their tops off … Nipples to die for … Sh.t they looked good! Before you knew it though, it was over.

Whilst they were setting up the stage an Asian guy came in and quickly took a seat. The Mamasan for the ladyboys came over for a chat then motioned for the ladyboys to come over. This is always interesting to see as around ten ladyboys bunch up together and motion … Pick me, Pick me! Some hang at the back and try to strike a pose when he looks over. It took about 2 minutes before he made his choice then the rest just dispersed as quickly as they arrived.

They have tied 5 oversized balloons about 6ft high at one end of the stage. What gets on stage is a short female with a body of an oversized egg. F.ck me, F.ck me, F.ck me … This is what I’m thinking as I watch in disbelief. Ohh yeah and she’s carrying a bucket. She has this really unhappy look on her face which is understandable as most people are looking in her direction not to kindly. After a lap around the stage she lies down at the opposite end of the stage to the balloons. I now noticed that she has a 10 inch piece of metal tubing where the diameter isn’t that big. In the bucket she has darts that she places inside the tubing each time she takes a shot. Ok now we know it’s a blow gun and since this is Bangkok take one guess where she blows from. She places the tubing inside her vagina and you can see her stomach tighten as a gush of air sends the dart at a decent speed towards the balloons. F.ck it even I clapped. It took her eight shots to burst all five balloons. Okay that was impressive.

Now the three women from earlier got back on stage and this time their piece is choreographed better or it’s just that I know how good these women's nipples are. Before long they were topless and moving slowly around the dance floor and it’s building … Lesbians … Yes! Yes! Come on I’ll forgive you about having an aging bargirl follow me inside … You can do it! They get into position where one woman is about rub another chicks groin and the third woman was about to suck on those awesome nipples when … Bang! … It’s over … F.ck it!

Over a year ago I saw video of the London Calling shower show and was impressed. This is what I have come to see. Up step two women on stage. One was just okay but nowhere near as hot as the women I saw in the video. The other woman was taller and her stable diet would be donuts. London Calling should scrap their shows as customers aren’t getting value for money with the overpriced drinks so they can pay for the showgirls who are clearly not up to it. I had a waitress in front of me so I just gave her what I owed and walked out … Screw This!

The Strip Patpong

The Strip Patpong Soi 2

I spent some time within Patpong on Friday Night and was impressed on more than one occasion. I have been a bit negative about Patpong Soi 2 in the past. If I take a step back Patpong 2 is still a good spot for tourists to get away from the hustle & bustle of the Night Market plus the excessive noise that live bands bring to the atmosphere. Some people like to travel at a more mellow pace.

The Strip has been renovated and now looks the part of a modern gogo bar. It’s good to see that they repaired/painted the curb out front as that has been an eyesore for so long. Club Electric Blue have some very athletic looking dancers that you can have a good look at as you pass. They do the right thing as do The Strip and keep their curtain open so you know what you are walking into … good or bad.

This can’t be said about Glamour as their curtain is closed whenever I have walked-by. This can be a prick walking up to any bar just to see if it is worth heading in for a drink. With Black Pagoda all you need do is look up at the bridge over Patpong Soi 2 where you will see the gogo dancers hopefully in full swing. Then it’s an easy decision whether to go up those stairs for a drink.

If you’re into ladyboys then before you know it you will be at Kings Corner 2. I’d recommend any tourist who wants to see ladyboys in all their glory to make the effort to experience Kings Corner 2. Full blown pressure as you enter and it will feel unrelenting until you at least get one ladyboy over for a drink then the pressure drops to zero. As a tourist it’s worth it … especially for couples.

There are several small beer bars that might interest more than a few people but they aren’t my scene therefore I generally ignore them. If it’s bargirls you want then you will find several women that are worth hanging out with at The Club which is located opposite Kings Corner 2. The Pink Panther is the last gogo bar within Patpong 2 or the first all dependant on which way you enter. Here you will find some excellent gogo dancers. Several know how to let loose and are well worth just starring at when they are in the mood.

This is a busy time in Bangkok for tourist but they aren’t the tourist that will be frequenting gogo bars. It’s School holidays in the UK and Europe therefore it is mainly tourists with their school age kids. I couldn’t imagine any wives giving their husbands a night off to go hit a gogo bar. He might never come back.

I was in Nana Plaza briefly and noticed that Spanky’s was closed and apparently for 3 days. I thought here we go … In the end it’s nothing to interesting … A Wedding … That's it! I must admit my skin crawled just typing that. The Enter Bar on Friday night was busy when I walked past which is good as the dancers are up for whatever you throw at them. Yeah get one on your lap and go for it.

Cruising around as I do I see plenty of hot women that most people would dream of in the West. You do get use to it and might not even give them a second look. Then on a rare occasion you will spot someone that you just gotta hit the sack with. Friday night there she was and f..me where do you think she works? Regular readers of the column will get this … Melodies UK. ‘WOW’ What a f.ck!