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Tilac vs Bangkok Bunnies

I read stuff I hear stuff but there is something's that I just have to go and see for myself. The word is that the Tilac Bar is ahead of bars like Crazy House, Bangkok Bunnies & Billboard just now. I doubt it!  If you got a tourist who had never been to a gogo bar and threw him into Crazy House Bangkok nearing midnight then he may come out a jabbering wreck. When I have walked past the Tilac Bar or stuck my head inside of late there has been nothing jumping out at me to to go inside. This could be just bad timing and I’ve been missing out big time.

Last August when I put out my Best Gogo Bar - Top 4  I wrote ‘There are a couple of sleeping giants that during the peak season could make a big push into the top 4. They’re the Tilac Bar (Soi Cowboy) and Bangkok Bunnies (Nana Plaza)’. Lets go head to head with these two bars with no bias and see who’s the best. Bangkok Bunnies advertise on this site and I’m a massive fan of Soi Cowboy and the bars within… not a minor fan. I will leave all my allegiances at the door as it’s all about these two gogo bars! Another consideration is I always take the side of a tourist that is here on a holiday. The tourists are after a different experience than an expat. For the tourist they definitely want a more hands on approach leading to an eventual barfine. That’s what it’s all about. For most of the expats it’s go in have a drink with some friends then they’re gone … Boring Shit!

First up a bit of recon of both bars on a Tuesday night. Bangkok Bunnies looked in full swing at around 10 pm with both dance floors in operation as well as the Jacuzzi. Look a bit deeper and you will see multiply gogo dancers that are well worth barfining. With no coyotes you don't have to worry about a two tier barfing system. Any tourist out tonight would certainly have a blast inside Bangkok Bunnies.

I know the Tilac Bar heats up later than most bars within Soi Cowboy therefore I arrived at 11:20 pm. F..mee although they did have some customers inside for the Tilac Bar they were quiet!…  No atmosphere! Now I am not going to be a prick and say how sh.t the Tilac Bar was compared to Bangkok Bunnies since it’s just a recon. After my experience at the Kiss Bar a few weeks ago a Friday night will tell me how good a bar really is. I do hope the Tilac Bar blows me away this coming Friday night. As of now Tilac is the underdog.

Tilac Outside Bar Soi Cowboy

Tilac Bar Outside Bar

My first impression when I walked into the Tilac Bar on Friday Night was wow! I like what I see. The gogo bar is around 70% full and there are fourteen dancers on stage of which six are coyotes. Within the bar there are another six gogo dancers doing some tabletop dancing. Visually tonight the bar looks good. The Tilac Bar has one of the best designed dance floors of any gogo bar. I take a seat by the dance floor and get a better look at the coyote dancers and notice they are a bit older than coyotes at other bars. Most would be pushing 30 but to be honest when they are in full swing on the dance floor they do look good. I thought the biggest downside with the coyotes was their uniform. The pants that they were wearing although they show a great ass … With the front… well … you see nothing! It’s like they have too many layers underneath.

The Dollhouse BangkokI can see why I was having a bad run when having a quick look inside and thinking Nah!… and then leave. Here’s why… after nearly every song the dancers just stop dancing. Why you may think? Its so they can rotate around the dance floor. Really they need fix this as they do have a handful of excellent gogo dancers that have to stop dancing just as they started to light up the dance floor. I spent the next 10 min's trying to ascertain that the regular dancers were in fact wearing nothing under their short skirts. You would think it would be easy to see but these skirts are designed to do a really good job of teasing not showing. I looked around the bar and noticed not one person had a dancer on their lap or at least in their arms having some fun… Then it struck me … F.. mee they are all NERDS!!!

I spent a good 20 min’s just watching these guys in disbelief. Don’t they realize that they are at Soi Cowboy? Their end game for tonight is to have a story that they were at the Tilac Bar and danced with some women … God forbid that they touch them. I got the impression that they would have to date them for three weeks to even think about it … So friggin weird! This is the Tilac Bars regular clientele and the gogo dancers are programmed to deal with them. I just knew there is no way I would get a dancer on my lap tonight! The bar might have come to a stand still. I do wonder if these guys realize that for 800 Baht the women they’re hanging with will leave with any guy here tonight. With a bit of luck he will bang them all night long. The Nerdy atmosphere within the bar makes it hard for anyone planning to let loose.

Bangkok Bunnies - Nana PlazaI did get approached by three gogo dancers … two were pleasant enough but they both did nothing for me. The other one was pushing 35 therefore it’s almost time to move onto a beer bar for her. There was one dancer that did trigger my attention but once she came down from the dance floor I could just sense it … She had no drive! She would be perfect for the guys here as she would sit politely next to you whilst having a drink…. No thanks! The coyotes cost 3000 Baht if you want to barfine them … HA HA no way!! These chicks don't want it… You’d be better off banging a pillow!

On a positive note there are a few coyote dancers that can really dance. You can’t take your eye of them at times which would make for an enjoyable night out if you aren’t planning on hanging with any of the dancers. The décor of the bar looks impressive and the layout is good. I do get the impression that the Tilac Bar is a sit back and relax type of bar … just enjoy the view. The outside bar is a big positive where you can watch what is happening with Soi Cowboy itself. More importantly you do have a direct view of the Toy Bar where on occasions you are going to see some funny sh.t!

Now to Bangkok Bunnies the following Friday night. F..mee both bars are unlucky with their clientele. I take a seat at the main dance floor area which has around twenty dancers on stage. Now you’d think my eyes would be straight onto to the dancers but not tonight. There is an obnoxious bald headed fat English guy who wouldn’t even fit into the roughest beer bar making a total prick of himself. Here's this loser with his t-shirt off bouncing around like a fool and having a couple of the older waitresses trying to settle him down.

Now don’t think this is just some guy having a good time … Nah! This was borderline aggression! He’ll get what's coming to him soon but not tonight. I do my best to ignore the loser and look up at a very good group of gogo dancers. There are plenty that I would have no trouble at all barfining. That look lasted about 30 sec’s when the guys next to me all started smoking like chimneys. I moved about 10 ft to my left and in walked two other guys who sat next to me and promptly lit up … HA HA …!

No problem as Bangkok Bunnies is big and I moved over to the other dance floor. I look up and to see eight dancers on stage and a couple are topless … cool. This area is only about 30% full which is so much better since there isn’t a smoker insight. Three of the dancers are real stunners and you know exactly what you are getting with these chicks. Their pants are so tight and with zero layers underneath this does leave no room for your imagination.

 Bangkok Bunnies Nana Plaza

Bangkok Bunnies Gogo Dancers

From here I looked over at the Jacuzzi and the silhouette of one of the women blows anything away that I saw at the Tilac Bar. I starred at her for about 10 min's just sitting back enjoying the view. The dancers here aren’t shy and are prompting me to invite them down off the dance floor. Not for a drink but to get on one of the sofa’s!! Banging style … Sh.t yeah! I’ll have too choose wisely. There is one dancer that has one of the best groins I’ve seen in a long time… Yeah chew on that!! Her breast are large but a bit too big for her slim body … She might not let me play with those breasts as they are more than likely silicon.

The dancer that I did call over was a good all rounder and firm. She landed straight on my lap and was going for my neck when I had to pull back to ask her ‘do you want a drink?’ HA HA talk about keen! The walking groin walked by and I nearly pulled the trigger for a threesome. You know you've hit the jackpot when you get a chick all over you and she’s horny! … They can’t simulate being wet can they? F.. me bad luck Tilac Bar You lose!!!!

That all ended up being a bit brutal in many ways. I had fully expected the main focus to be the bars themselves. In the end the customers do play a big part on how good a bar is on any given night. Smoking for me in 2017 within bars is beyond belief. Whoever has the balls to make a gogo bar non-smoking is a hero in my eyes. If Bangkok Bunnies wasn’t so big I might have walked out after 10 minutes because of the smokers, and in the process of missing out on a really good night out.

At the Tilac Bar the nerdy customers of who many are just there because the movie ‘Hangover 2’ shot some scenes inside. They do drag the bar down… Am I in Soi Cowboy?..! The gogo dancers have been dealing with customers like this for too long. They don’t have the drive that dancers at the more hands-on bars do. I’m sure most of the dancers have worked at the Tilac Bar for years therefore don’t know how wild it can get at other bars.

If I had to choose which outside bar to spend an evening at then it would be the Tilac Bars. The continuous foot traffic within Soi Cowboy means there is hardly a dull moment. Both bars are very good in different ways but in the end it all comes down to how good your gogo dancers are… For anyone that might be confused… I’m not talking about their dancing!

Smooci Bangkok